This charming name refers to a picturesque patch of water near where I grew up. I’m home in Ireland for a flying visit and thought I’d report on a fashion happening.
In some places, (say, Burberry) earth tones are always in fashion. In others, (say, Sludge Lagoon) fashion can always be unearthed… Even the sheep look like they’ve been dunked in sludge. Tim Walker would dye them pink…
“Who you calling sludge?” Sheep bleated. “Chocolate-complexioned is how we care to be described. Pink, over my pork behind!” “Moss is next season’s color…as in Kate Moss?” said Tree, who with so many intertwined branches found reaching conclusions difficult so he ended everything with a question mark. Lady Whin reared up in the air and rolled her neck in indignation. For her there was no question about it.
“Im just fed up to the back teeth of being overlooked. Cherry blossom gets bloomin’ festivals created for her, I get labelled furze. Well, I want to be an ornamental. I’ve decided: Whin is in for next season!”
“Well. you heard it here first,” said Heather, rolling her eyes. “Of course, I’ve been around for 10,000 years and yet they call a white button-down shirt a timeless classic.” The creatures of Sludge Lagoon were aware that earth tones were all over the runways of Tom Ford and local boy made good, JW Anderson. In fact, he was regularly a popular topic of conversation over grazing and milking.
“To think I used to cantor past him when he was a nipper and now he’s at luxury maison Loewe,” reminisced Horse. “Of course, to my mind orange will always be the new black. Sorry, JW, but I speak Hermes.”
There was a commotion as a three barred gate was slammed shut a short distance off followed by some panting…
“There you are. Sheep here, again, yeah, sorry about back there. We got off on the wrong hoof. I checked the label and the exact shade of my coat is Pantone 439, Egyptian Brown. Thought you’d want the credits to be correct. Come Autumn, they’ll all be sporting it. Em, would you mind taking my photo again? I wasn’t ready last time.” “Marron? Not likely, Monsieur Mouton. Dress in cream and live the dream,” said the Charolais bullock. “We French understand chic. I haven’t yet seen the term “Irish elegance” as I flick through Vogue. E justement!”
“There is never a right shade of green!” scorned their opinionated leader. “Black and white takes you from day to night. Milan to Manhattan, think Coco Chanel, Marlene Dietrich, Janelle Monae. You’ll always look right in black and white.”
“And don’t we stand out?” boasted another. “I stop traffic on these roads twice a day!”
“Ooh, cherie, you’re in luck. I have just that shade of lippy,” said the Charolais bullock with a blush, and began fishing about in his man purse.
These are the humble but fashion fertile surroundings from which our lovely heroine Kat originated. Read about her adventures in the fashion industry in Silk for the Feed Dogs which is available here.