Yesterday, we had the first snow of the season in NYC. The flakes were dappling the branches of downtown as I set off walking and by the time I had gone about ten blocks, it had laid its silent layers. It takes a lot to shut up New York’s City’s incessant yakking but a few inches of snow will do it. She looks so beautiful when she hasn’t got so much to say for herself. That girl should just sit back and rely on her looks more often.
Oh, sweetie, you want cake, why didn’t you say? I know just the place…I almost didn’t come back from this. It was touch and go. Anyway, thanks, lady, now adopt a forward motion. Away from the cakes.Oh, is that gratuitous Prada? I apologize. I don’t know how that got mixed up in there.Time’s ticking. It’ll soon be Christmas. And speaking of time……how’s that for an hourglass?I’m on a roll, Twinkletoes. Shoes are considered Christmas ornaments, you know?And what girl doesn’t need a stud for Christmas?I think Christmas shopping needs to be tackled with military precision. Are you with me? Left, right, left, right…We’ve got your back, ladies. Carry on.Oh, but I was hoping for a late breakfast. Maybe at Tiffany’s…I’ve finally found my new apartment! It’s in the window of Tiffany’s. Look at my lovely refined neighbors. I really fit in in this area of town. They’re just my kind of people.If you come round and leave a housewarming gift like this on my doorstep, I assure you I will not set the dogs on you.Although one of the Fendimonsters might escape. They’re wily little buggers.What, it’s Christmas tree-shaped…Now, them’s two dames mighty worth keeping an eye on. Whadya say, sport, shall we ask them to a spot of supper?This time of year really brings the riffraff uptown.Oh, goodness, is that more gratuitous Prada? I just don’t know how it sneaked in.This poor little tramp had to retreat up a tree away from all the Christmas madness. He wishes he were downtown but he’s worn holes in the soles of his shoes and hasn’t the subway fare.
Could be worse: he could be up this tree and his pants would catch fire…
But tell me, where else would you see Woody, Liza and Kate?The ‘Ready Brek glow’ is actually the sign of someone in need of a cocktail. Plaza, prepare my stool, I am in arrivo…A sidecar and some truffle flavored popcorn? Don’t mind if I do, good sir.
My novel is a perfect stocking filler. You don’t even need to go out in the cold. Why, no need to thank me, you’re welcome. You can buy Silk for the Feed Dogs here.